it's my birthday and i'd cry if i want to.

thanks for all the things everyone has done for me.
mainly, amanda and her mom, val, lav, buddy, mel, the boys.
everything, thank you so much.
i'm sorry things didn't really turn out in the end.
but before that, i had fun.
it was the best i ever had.

this birthday i have learnt.
how friends are important.
it's hard choosing between my two worlds.
i don't want to choose.
i love all so much, sacrificed so much too.
i wouldn't give it all away just like that.

maybe i was wrong,
i don't know,
sometimes people do wrong things without knowing,
i need to know, so i can change.

i love my friends all so much,
but it's hard to say if they feel the same too,
after what i have heard and seen today and yesterday,
i'm confused.
things have changed, since about 2-3 weeks.
never thought it would, but life's full of surprises.

would you hurt me, physically or emotionally, if or not it was my birthday?
why would my birthday make a difference on how you treat me?
when did everything change?
how am i suppose to handle this?
my questions. my answers.

i love all my friends. no matter how much they've hurt me.